Every week you send me questions via email, Facebook or Instagram – and I’m SO grateful for each one of them! There’s nothing more beautiful to me then getting to interact with you directly. I noticed though that many of you are interested in experiences I made throughout my own personal growth journey. So I thought I’ll sum up here the 10 most important lessons I’ve learned – and wish I had known earlier. Enjoy and let me know in the comments how you liked this post!
1. Everybody is struggling and has self-doubts
That is not meant to sound negative, but I remember how often I felt lonely on my personal growth journey. Lonely in the sense of being the only one that worries, struggles, feels like there’s a complete chaos in my head and not knowing what to do next. The truth is, absolutely everybody goes through the same periods of struggle and doubts. Yet the people who keep on moving forward despite their doubts, will eventually be the ones who’ll succeed in creating a life on their terms. Remember that whenever you feel alone with your struggles. I’m here to tell you, you’re not!
2. Nobody has figured it all out
Have you ever though “I can only [start my business, work as a freelancer, take on that project, start a new career, apply for that position] when I [know more, have more skills, more experience, better equipment, etc.]? Let me tell you, everybody – especially women – feel that way NO MATTER their skillset, experience, capability. When you’re doing something, anything, that’s new and that makes you grow, you got to figure it out along the way.
Here are snippets from conversations I had with two male friends about the topic of not knowing ‘if you’ve what it takes’ when you take on a new opportunity:
„At the beginning of a project I don’t really know what I’m going to do exactly, but I get in, see what’s needed, and figure it out on the way.“ He works as a consultant and his daily rate is 1.250€.
„We always charge full price for pilot projects. Then we’ll do our best to deliver with excellence – of course.“ That friend is a CEO of a multimillion dollar company.
In summary: You don’t need to have it all figured out. In fact, whenever you start something new, it’s literally impossible! Needing to figure it out is just an excuse when we’re scared to make mistakes. Dare to give it a shot, you’re ready and capable. Allow yourself to learn along the way. Life is a learning journey!
3. When in doubt or worry, ask yourself different questions
Here comes one of my favorite tools to help me get unstuck. It’s so simple and so powerful!
Our brain is like a big answering machine and pretty much works like Google. Whatever you ask, it will do its best job to provide you an answer. Let that sink in for a second – because what it means is, when you ask your brain ‘why you always do the wrong thing’ or ‘why you never stick to your diet’ or ‘why you simply can’t get it done’ – YOUR BRAIN WILL SEARCH FOR AN ANSWER!
That means of course, that by asking these kind of negative questions, you’ll get negative answers. How’s that for a mood breaker? The GREAT thing is that it works just as easy the other way around.
Here are a few empowering questions I love to ask myself whenever I feel I need a new perspective or understand myself better:
- „What would my best self do?“
- „What could be an easier solution to this?“
- „Who do I know who knows how to do this?“
- „What do I really want to be doing right now?“
- „What’s bothering me and how can I turn it around?“
Whenever I’m asking myself these kind of questions I literally feel how my inner wisdom is pouring out of me. That might sound too simple, but the truth is we really do carry everything we need inside us – including the answers to our questions. Make sure to ask yourself empowering ones!
4. When in doubt or worry, focus on the next thing you have to do
The most intimidating place is our mind, especially when we’re worried or fearful about something. There we can get lost in circular thoughts that only drag us down even more. So my antidote to feeling stuck, worried or overwhelmed, is to get into action.
I focus on the next thing on my to-do list or pick one thing I feel capable of doing right now, and get it going.
Because the beauty of being fully focused is that your mind will calm down. By putting all my focus on one task, I simply can’t focus on my worries at the same time. Simultaneously, my worries or doubts always seem smaller after a few hours away from them.
5. Get in front of the mirror and say nice things to yourself
That might seem odd – and let me tell you it feels odd at the beginning – but positively talking to yourself in the mirror is a great way of instantly changing your emotional state and a way to practice self love. Plus, it serves as a counter-weight to all the negative things our inner voice might tell us subconsciously.
Every day I tell myself some encouraging words in front of the mirror. Depending on what my day looks like, I might say “Chrissi, you’ve got this! You’ll do great at that workshop, speak with full clarity and enjoy your time with the amazing people around you.”
Basically, I prepare myself with positive affirmations and that instantly lifts my mood and gives me reassurance. Referring to yourself in the third person will increase the effect.
That’s it for today! This was part 1 of the ’10 Things I’ve learned during my personal growth journey’. Continue here to read the second part
– while all of the lessons were so valuable, #9 was a true game changer for me.
Because I LOVE to keep it actionable, I invite you to the following challenge:
- Pick one of the 5 things I’ve shared with you
- Apply the lesson in your own life during the next 7 days
To fully commit, let me know in the comments which one you’ve chosen!
Keep becoming your best self.