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Less Stress, More Joy: How to feel like $1 Mio. bucks TODAY!

Do you sometimes feel chased by your big dreams? Or by all the things on your to-do list? As if you’re always hanging in the future, impatiently working on your current tasks, always going through your list and never quite as present as you’d like to be. 

I know I do. Up until a couple of years ago I felt restless. Always thinking about ALL the things I have on my list, ALL the things I haven’t achieved yet, and ALL the things I still want to achieve. Then there were other times when I felt stuck in a conversation, thinking about more meaningful things I could be doing right now. Or moments when I hit the pause button, just to worry about if I’m even heading in the right direction. 

WHY ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL IS NOT THE GOAL

The point is, I rarely fully enjoyed the moment I was living. I never felt quite happy. 

Until I realized one important truth…

The way you feel is not tied to a goal, or a certain outcome.

Let me explain…

While I was chasing my big dreams, I realized what I was actually chasing was a certain feeling that I thought I’d get from achieving that dream. 

Christine Muench Coaching Goal Happiness Feeling Better

In my subconscious mind it must’ve sounded like this:

Once I’ve found my purpose, I’ll be happy, energized, and work on it with determination every day.

Or in my early 20ties:

Once I find my big love, I’ll be joyful and fulfilled. 

Or in my teens: 

Once I look and dress a certain way, I’ll feel confident and comfortable within my own skin.

YOU GOALS MAKE YOU GROW, THEY DON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY

Oh well, what shall I say? Of course, I was terribly wrong. Or better said, I painted a one-sided picture. 

While I was focused on looking a certain way, I started to exercise regularly. 20 years ago I created the habit of exercising nearly every day (even if it’s just 10 min). Something I first believed I wouldn’t be capable of.  And by overcoming that limiting belief, I grew my confidence in what I can achieve if I set my mind to.

While my #1 goal was to find my big love, I learned a lot about who I want as a partner – and who I don’t want. I got to know myself better, and understood what kind of values are important to me. 

Goals Happiness Fulfillment Coaching

While finding my purpose and changing from a marketing career to coaching was one of the best decisions of my life, I don’t wake up happy every day. Neither do I feel energized or determined every day. But along my own personal growth journey, I’ve discovered plenty of habits and tools that help me deal with low energy, worries or procrastination.

Arriving at my goals made me a stronger, more confident person who knows better what she wants. But the goals themselves didn’t turn me into the fulfilled and happy person I initially thought I’d be. 

EVOLUTIONARY YOUR HAPPINESS CAN’T BE TIED TO ACHIEVEMENT

Because, let me repeat myself…

The way you feel is not tied to a goal, or a certain outcome.

Or in other words..

Your happiness is not tied to achieving anything.

Happiness Achievement Coaching Feeling Better
It can’t be. Because once we’ve achieved a certain goal, our mind automatically jumps to the next bigger goal. We’re programmed for growth and evolution. If we reached fulfillment after one win, that would mean we’d be stagnating which is entirely against our nature. In fact, sooner than later, we’d feel useless, bored and ultimately get depressed. 

FOLLOW THIS 2 STEPS TO FEEL HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL TODAY

So if achieving all our big, audacious goal or checking all our to-do’s from the list won’t make us happy, what will? 

What will ultimately bring you joy and fulfillment, is to create a life around the way you want to feel, NOW. Not tomorrow, not when you’ve found work you love, started that business, made your first million, or got that promotion. 

Step 1: Define how you want to feel more often

Think about your current big goals and dreams, and ask yourself: how do I hope to feel once I’ve achieved them? You can also create a list of your current goals or big to do’s and go through that question one by one. 

Let’s take my examples from before:

  • Once I’ve found my purpose, I’ll be happy, energized, and work on it with determination every day.

  • Once I find my big love, I’ll be joyful and fulfilled. 

  • Once I look and dress a certain way, I’ll feel confident and comfortable within my own skin.

The easiest way to come up with answers is to think about it in the following structure:

  • Once I’ve (achieved goal a), I’ll feel (feeling a, b, and c)

Step 2: Bring those feelings into your life NOW!

The next step is the fun part! Think about different ways how you can feel the way you hope to feel once you’ve reached your goals, NOW. There’s no point in waiting for a goal to be achieved to feel happy. And as I’ve pointed out, once you’ve reached that goal, you won’t have the time to be happy, because you’ll already be focusing on the next bigger one. 

Your chance of feeling the way you want to feel is to create moments, experiences, and situations in your life that make you feel the way you want to right now.

Let’s look at some personal examples:

I bring joy into my life by …

  • spending quality time with my partner and my friends

  • going to a comedy show and laughing out loud

  • writing dow all the things I’m deeply grateful for

I bring the energy I want into my life by …

  • going to bed at 10pm without my phone, reading an autobiography about somebody I admire, writing down what I’m proud about before I go to sleep

  • watching an episode of Shark Tank and seeing how other entrepreneurs bring their ideas to life

  • talking to at least 2 of my girlfriends every week, connecting on a deep level, sharing our worries and hopes

I bring confidence into my life by …

  • standing up straight with my shoulders back
  • speaking up when something bothers me
  • doing something every day that makes me uncomfortable

This process basically helps you to reverse engineer it, starting from how you want to feel and then define specific actions you can take in order to feel that way. 

TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR FEELINGS

No more waiting for any goals to feel how you want to feel. In fact, you’ll soon come to realize that the moment you take ownership of your feelings, you’ll not only achieve your goals with more ease – but you’ll also enjoy the process A LOT more!

And now, I’m EXTREMELY curious and love to hear from you, what’s a feeling you’d like more of in your life? Share it with me in the comments. 

With SO much LOVE 💕
Chrissi

 P.S.: Want to receive exclusive tipps and motivation on how to create a life you love and meet AWESOME like-minded ladies? Join our Own Your Life Community on Facebook.  

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